Unexpected angels

On serving and being followed

The woman wore a matching light gray sweatsuit. She looked relatively normal, but her eyes were vacant, hollow, dark.

She stood on the sidewalk, watching me intently as I parallel parked my car; making a minor adjustment, talking to my friend on bluetooth being careful I did not hit the Audi in front of me. Her intense stare nearly penetrated through my windshield. I assumed she was the Audi’s car owner.

I nestled my Airpods in my ears, made sure my friend was still connected, and took a moment sitting in my car, watching the woman stare at me. I had some time. I got out of my car, gabbing with my friend about life and the state of the world as I paid the parking meter, and started walking towards my doctor’s appointment.

It was late morning, SF’s skies a neutral pale blue and 62 degrees, the city’s comfort zone. I turned to double check the cross street of where I parked, and noticed the woman, with her vacant eyes standing only a few feet away from me.

The hairs on my arms prickled, a sick feeling spreading through my body.

I picked up my pace, talking to my friend, yet sensing the uneasiness growing. The woman walked by my side as if we were heading to the same place.

I stopped and pretended to look at a storefront, and the woman stopped alongside me.

What the fuck is going on? I thought to myself.

My heart now beat rapidly as if I was sprinting up a hill. I realized I’d stopped talking. “You still there? Everything ok?” my friend asked.

I bolted into a convenience store. “Someone is following me,” I whispered as I wandered through the chip and snack aisle, then to the refrigerated section, my eyes darting to and fro searching for the woman and her hollow eyes.

I did not see her, had I been making this up? Yet as I departed the store, there she was - waiting for me.

“Are you ok? What’s going on? What do you mean someone is following you?” My friend’s voice soothed me, yet I did not know what to say or do. I was not in danger, or was I?

I’d lived in large cities for over 25 years and had not encountered something like this. I did not know what to do, so I kept walking.

I reached a red stop light and stopped. The woman stood too closely by my side, staring at me. “Will you please stop following?” I said to the woman, with as much firmness as I could muster; my heart’s thudding drowning out the sound of my breath.

“Yes,” she replied.

The light turned green, a sense of relief flooded me, I crossed the crosswalk - and the woman continued to follow me. Feeling panicky, yet close to my doctor’s office, I stopped at an apartment building to see if there was a doorman I could talk to pretending to live there. The black wrought iron gate was locked, so in defeat, I kept walking, with the unexpected stalker following along.

Was this one of those moments in life when you wish you took a different action?

I soon saw two men on the sidewalk, wearing purple vests with GLIDE lanyards around their neck. Recognizing GLIDE, a well-known nonprofit in SF, I approached them and one of the men, Tyrone, and I made eye contact.

“Hi there,” he said as I slowed to a stop. I stared intently at his face, our brown eyes locking. “Are we…ok?” I shook my head slowly and mouthed, “She is following me.”

Tyrone looked at the woman and then back to me. “Are you two together?” I shook my head no. Cars rushed by us, my heart beat started to slow.

Tyrone nodded and came up to me, with a calm, steady presence, quietly telling me the plan. He would talk to the woman to distract her, and his colleague, Damion, would accompany me where I was headed. As Damion came up to me and introduced himself, I could hear Tyrone asking the woman how she was. As we walked away, the woman’s voice echoed down the sidewalk, “But I need to follow her…”.

I did not turn back and look around; I could still feel the woman’s eyes penetrating somewhere deep inside me.

Damion, a tall man with a large smile and warmth immediately put me at ease. Embarrassed, I explained I didn’t know what was going on, or how I was supposed to handle that situation.

He explained to me that I did everything I could - I’d remained calm, attempted to communicate, and then found support. “People can be extremely volatile, so you never know what could happen, but you stayed calm.” Damion escorted me safely two my doctor’s appointment and offered to walk me back to my car.

As I sat on the examination table waiting for my doctor, breathing deeply to calm my heart and settle my mind, I tried to make sense of what had just happened - and what had not happened. Why was I so rattled and scared? I contemplated walking back bravely to my car by myself, though also wondered, what if the woman with the vacant eyes was waiting for me? She knew where I parked my car.

Fingers shaking, I texted Damion, accepting his offer to escort me back to my car. When he arrived outside my doctor’s office, big smile and all, I again, immediately felt at ease. As we walked, I thanked him and his colleague profusely for their presence, for their kindness. Damion told me about GLIDE’S Cecil Williams Community Ambassador program they were part of, a program designed to offer access to services to those living on the street or battling mental health and addiction in the Tenderloin. He shared that the woman who was following me lived with schizophrenia and was currently unmedicated.

As we approached my car, I hugged Damion, thanking him again for his help and presence.

It would have been easy for Damion and Tyrone to belittle my fear, or to simply brush me off. Had I been in an unsafe situation? It would have been easy for them to treat the woman with the vacant eyes with rudeness. So many people view and treat those who are living with mental health issues, addiction, or are unhoused as less than.

Instead, both of these men, treated us both, equally, with respect, dignity, and love.

In this time when it feels everyone is motivated to build their brand, their empire or to make the most money they can or to create the next unicorn AI company, Damion and Tyrone reminded me there still people out there committed to serve, committed to help their community, committed to help a woman like me and a woman like the who followed me on that random Wednesday morning.

And that commitment - that love - well, it brings tears to my eyes.

love, lindy